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Hello, Dr. Strange.
I am, and thank you for inquiring. More and more, what would be unusual is now familiar. Dare I say it, there's a bit of excitement to new challenges.
I am, and thank you for inquiring. More and more, what would be unusual is now familiar. Dare I say it, there's a bit of excitement to new challenges.
Yes, I was. I know she was quite adamant that even accidental use amounted to willful harm
Quite adamant is right. She stressed that fact when I talked to her in person, too.
Thing is, I don’t think she’s exaggerating. She would have no reason to. But there are those of us who could do a great deal to protect others in a time of crisis or emergency with our abilities, so you can see the problem.
Risking the slippery slope of using magic, of having to cause fear to fuel it, versus not having the tools to protect against supernatural forces when the situation is dire. One may lead to more harm, but it’s impossible to know which.
As a fellow doctor, I was wondering if you had a perspective on all of this.
Thing is, I don’t think she’s exaggerating. She would have no reason to. But there are those of us who could do a great deal to protect others in a time of crisis or emergency with our abilities, so you can see the problem.
Risking the slippery slope of using magic, of having to cause fear to fuel it, versus not having the tools to protect against supernatural forces when the situation is dire. One may lead to more harm, but it’s impossible to know which.
As a fellow doctor, I was wondering if you had a perspective on all of this.
Edited 2021-10-07 04:45 (UTC)
[it was a difficult question, and one she had wondered, looking at the syringe that had ever been her companion. would using it hurt someone else? would it cause them strife, to seal another's wounds? but at the same time, she knows she's selfish enough to do so. to say that her patients, who gave their lives to her hands, deserve to live. and she'll heal more and more wounds to make up for the damages.]
I think it depends on what the ratio ends up being in fear to aid. Causing a jolt of fear to a crowd in exchange for the power to save someone's life, that's something I could live with. No lasting harm done, while preserving those that seek our help. Where it grows less clear is weighing the concept of power over what might cause harm to multiple. Even if they may heal in time, and it is less dire than what we face, is the guilt something we can shoulder, if done with the best of intentions? Only the individual can answer that - whether one robs Peter to pay Paul, or so the saying goes.
Personally, I cannot deny there are times in which even the most well intentioned rules can be broken.(I am entirely aware of the individual in our department who can help death be avoided.) I think that at least somewhat, we should be aware of how much we rely on certain things, and adjust for their potential absence.
Alternately, there is a different course of action I can think of, though one ADI may not entirely approve of. Those who would willingly offer themselves to undergo that fear, to live through the horror, knowing that giving of themselves would enable others to do better and be more of aid. I strongly suspect, given the host of personalities in our organization, there might be those willing to test themselves and undergo such for the greater good. The struggle then lies in whether consent excuses what occurs.
It's not a question there's a single good answer to, though.
I think it depends on what the ratio ends up being in fear to aid. Causing a jolt of fear to a crowd in exchange for the power to save someone's life, that's something I could live with. No lasting harm done, while preserving those that seek our help. Where it grows less clear is weighing the concept of power over what might cause harm to multiple. Even if they may heal in time, and it is less dire than what we face, is the guilt something we can shoulder, if done with the best of intentions? Only the individual can answer that - whether one robs Peter to pay Paul, or so the saying goes.
Personally, I cannot deny there are times in which even the most well intentioned rules can be broken.(I am entirely aware of the individual in our department who can help death be avoided.) I think that at least somewhat, we should be aware of how much we rely on certain things, and adjust for their potential absence.
Alternately, there is a different course of action I can think of, though one ADI may not entirely approve of. Those who would willingly offer themselves to undergo that fear, to live through the horror, knowing that giving of themselves would enable others to do better and be more of aid. I strongly suspect, given the host of personalities in our organization, there might be those willing to test themselves and undergo such for the greater good. The struggle then lies in whether consent excuses what occurs.
It's not a question there's a single good answer to, though.
[He reads this, glad of the thought she’s put into it. The answer is not so cut-and-dry, not as ADI would have them believe — Stephen knows that, and it’s vaguely a relief to see it reflected in someone else.
Balance in all things, after all. Utilitarianism, weighed against judgment and morality. It’s an individual choice, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a bad choice, just as it means it isn’t a good one. Stephen just isn’t sure that there is an end-all-be-all solution to their situation.]
No, there’s no clear answer. And there’s also an invisible line that shouldn’t be crossed, one that Lehrer was very clear to make: using our powers is akin to using an addictive drug. The more we do, the more we will want to, and not for the sake of helping others. At some point, the need to serve our patron entity becomes to strong that we would cause great harm. She told me of people who would set fire to the city, or of sorcerers using their magic to hurt people.
Obviously, that’s unacceptable. And on one side, it’s reasonable that ADI doesn’t trust us enough to make this judgment call. We’re just strangers from another world. If I was in their position, I’d probably make it a blanket rule, too.
I’ll tell you where I stand. I’m a sorcerer. My magic is *greatly* hampered here without fueling it with fear. And there will be a day when I will need it to save others, and when that day comes and I have none of it to draw on? I know I’ll regret it. Immensely.
Balance in all things, after all. Utilitarianism, weighed against judgment and morality. It’s an individual choice, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a bad choice, just as it means it isn’t a good one. Stephen just isn’t sure that there is an end-all-be-all solution to their situation.]
No, there’s no clear answer. And there’s also an invisible line that shouldn’t be crossed, one that Lehrer was very clear to make: using our powers is akin to using an addictive drug. The more we do, the more we will want to, and not for the sake of helping others. At some point, the need to serve our patron entity becomes to strong that we would cause great harm. She told me of people who would set fire to the city, or of sorcerers using their magic to hurt people.
Obviously, that’s unacceptable. And on one side, it’s reasonable that ADI doesn’t trust us enough to make this judgment call. We’re just strangers from another world. If I was in their position, I’d probably make it a blanket rule, too.
I’ll tell you where I stand. I’m a sorcerer. My magic is *greatly* hampered here without fueling it with fear. And there will be a day when I will need it to save others, and when that day comes and I have none of it to draw on? I know I’ll regret it. Immensely.
The question I wish I'd had the opportunity to ask Ms. Lehrer is how exactly we're meant to hold back all of our abilities to stop forces greater than our knowing from destroying us, or if we're supposed to simply be a ship weathering the storm and repairing the aftermath. Perhaps an answer will reveal itself to us before that moment of regret comes to pass.
In the meanwhile, it sounds like for now, you'll do best by restraining yourself, so that if the time comes to take the drug, so to speak, there's less of a lasting effect. Not that I can officially prescribe such measures, though, even to a fellow doctor.
[in other words, this is only speculation and talk. what he chooses to do, she holds no responsibility for, despite giving her best advice on the situation.]
In the meanwhile, it sounds like for now, you'll do best by restraining yourself, so that if the time comes to take the drug, so to speak, there's less of a lasting effect. Not that I can officially prescribe such measures, though, even to a fellow doctor.
[in other words, this is only speculation and talk. what he chooses to do, she holds no responsibility for, despite giving her best advice on the situation.]
Don’t worry. I’ll take it as more of a second opinion than an official order. And I was of the same mind, anyway.
[Maybe it’s what he needed to hear from someone else in his field — the medical one, at least. That the risk is worth it, only for the right set of circumstances.
The drug they’re talking about is as dangerous as any; one hit is all it takes for some substances to hook their claws into an individual, and it’s downhill from there. But restraint? He can perhaps try, if his doses are few and far in-between.]
Small scares over a long period of time, maybe. Enough to generate an ace in the hole spell when the situation’s looking grim.
As for ADI, I can probably answer that for you. They’re not all reactionary. I’m under the impression that they have agents spread out, running missions often. We just aren’t privy to the details because, once again, it’s a matter of trust. I don’t think any of us have earned it.
[Maybe it’s what he needed to hear from someone else in his field — the medical one, at least. That the risk is worth it, only for the right set of circumstances.
The drug they’re talking about is as dangerous as any; one hit is all it takes for some substances to hook their claws into an individual, and it’s downhill from there. But restraint? He can perhaps try, if his doses are few and far in-between.]
Small scares over a long period of time, maybe. Enough to generate an ace in the hole spell when the situation’s looking grim.
As for ADI, I can probably answer that for you. They’re not all reactionary. I’m under the impression that they have agents spread out, running missions often. We just aren’t privy to the details because, once again, it’s a matter of trust. I don’t think any of us have earned it.
[it makes her wonder if there's a replacement, ways to taper off when the compulsion was too strong. therapy, a cure - call it naivete, but she refuses to think of it immediately as a lost cause. more and more, what was given up as inevitable was fixed via medicine, or some new treatment, or the stubbornness and refusal to give up.]
No, and they're right to only allow us so much room to run about. It's simply difficult, to be handed the news that the world is under siege and then be told to be patient, to know there's information there and make peace with not knowing.
No, and they're right to only allow us so much room to run about. It's simply difficult, to be handed the news that the world is under siege and then be told to be patient, to know there's information there and make peace with not knowing.
[A solution — he wonders, too, if it exists, waiting to be uncovered. The man who wants to fix everything, that old shadow of himself, says that there must be if they only look hard enough.
But he thinks back to his home—to Kaecillius, who wanted to circumvent death—and wonders if this is the same mindset of those who took it too far. Was there a transition to something more sinister, slow and insidious, much like what Lehrer warned? Are they flirting with the same outcome just by considering it?
Or are they allowing something terrible to happen merely because their hands are tied, bound by ADI’s authority?
Neither option is great.]
Do you intend to investigate in the field, Doctor Dyer? With or without ADI’s approval.
I understand that not everyone is trusting of the organization that’s taken us under their wing.
But he thinks back to his home—to Kaecillius, who wanted to circumvent death—and wonders if this is the same mindset of those who took it too far. Was there a transition to something more sinister, slow and insidious, much like what Lehrer warned? Are they flirting with the same outcome just by considering it?
Or are they allowing something terrible to happen merely because their hands are tied, bound by ADI’s authority?
Neither option is great.]
Do you intend to investigate in the field, Doctor Dyer? With or without ADI’s approval.
I understand that not everyone is trusting of the organization that’s taken us under their wing.
Even if I was making plans of that nature - which I am not - there's a large practical setback. My skills lie solely in the field of medicine, I have no combat expertise or experience handling the supernatural. To investigate unearthly threats on my own, with no approval guaranteed, would be tantamount to a suicide mission.
And we wouldn’t want that.
[A beat, another message:]
I mean that seriously, not sarcastically.
It’s important to have people working support as much as those who choose to investigate. I have some physical training, but without my magic, I’m in the same boat as you. So I understand.
That said, there are plenty here who could teach you the basics of self-defense. Preparation never hurts.
[A beat, another message:]
I mean that seriously, not sarcastically.
It’s important to have people working support as much as those who choose to investigate. I have some physical training, but without my magic, I’m in the same boat as you. So I understand.
That said, there are plenty here who could teach you the basics of self-defense. Preparation never hurts.
That's a relief to know. I'll take a look around once I know my next week's schedule. Hopefully someone will be willing to be patient with a complete novice.
Only if it wouldn't be an imposition on your time. You've already been so kind, Dr. Strange, I wouldn't wish to abuse your goodwill.
I wouldn’t have offered if it was an imposition, Doctor Dyer. Besides, it’s for my benefit, too. If I can’t rely on my magic, then I’ll have to rely on my reflexes to make up for it.
Let’s meet up when our schedules allow it. Make sure to wear something easy to move around in.
— — — — — — —
[“When their schedules allow it” is in a few days time, when they’ve managed to steal away from the medical department, their colleagues subtly adamant that they take a break and finally detach themselves from the facilities.
Well, B3 is technically the same floor as the medical department, but Stephen’s nearly sure this counts. There’s a whole area devoted to weapons training, with spacious clearance to move around. The mats on the ground further sell the idea that this is where agents go to hone their hand-to-hand combat skills, or other means of melee — it’s no Kamar-Taj, outdoors and rife with a bracing breeze, but it’ll do.
He’s dressed… well, some would call it oddly. Donned in his sorcerer’s ensemble, minus the Cloak of Levitation, it’s not what he wears when making his rounds as a doctor, but it’s his version of normal. It’s what he equates to “easy to move around in”, and to fight in; it’s seen plenty of danger, after all, both mystical and physical.]
On a scale from 1 to 10, how confident do you feel about this first session?
Let’s meet up when our schedules allow it. Make sure to wear something easy to move around in.
[“When their schedules allow it” is in a few days time, when they’ve managed to steal away from the medical department, their colleagues subtly adamant that they take a break and finally detach themselves from the facilities.
Well, B3 is technically the same floor as the medical department, but Stephen’s nearly sure this counts. There’s a whole area devoted to weapons training, with spacious clearance to move around. The mats on the ground further sell the idea that this is where agents go to hone their hand-to-hand combat skills, or other means of melee — it’s no Kamar-Taj, outdoors and rife with a bracing breeze, but it’ll do.
He’s dressed… well, some would call it oddly. Donned in his sorcerer’s ensemble, minus the Cloak of Levitation, it’s not what he wears when making his rounds as a doctor, but it’s his version of normal. It’s what he equates to “easy to move around in”, and to fight in; it’s seen plenty of danger, after all, both mystical and physical.]
On a scale from 1 to 10, how confident do you feel about this first session?
Truthfully, about a 3.
[she's dressed quite similarly to how she looks at work, with the main change being that she's swapped a long skirt out for pants. decidedly not her usual style, but it seemed appropriate, seeing other women in their training, and her hair won't budge in a windstorm, so she's assuming she's fine.]
But one can't gain confidence in lack of trying, right?
[she's dressed quite similarly to how she looks at work, with the main change being that she's swapped a long skirt out for pants. decidedly not her usual style, but it seemed appropriate, seeing other women in their training, and her hair won't budge in a windstorm, so she's assuming she's fine.]
But one can't gain confidence in lack of trying, right?
[it's the middle of the week, and she's been refused from taking on more hours, which is still something she has to get accustomed to. clearly, her way of problem solving won't actually fly when someone is checking on your mental health and balance, and it's better to leave and simply let them assume you're a hard worker first and foremost.
instead, wandering about Gloucester, what catches her eye is a church - how long has it been, since she set foot in a proper one, not one rotted and left as a playground for monsters? quite a while, even with time blurring together like it did. trying the door out of curiosity, Emily's surprised to find it unlocked, and quietly tiptoes in after propping the door open a crack - for safety's sake. once that's settled, she can explore.
airy, silent, with the afternoon sun tilting through stained glass. serene, and her heart feels a little lighter for it. a few votives burn in their setting, and Emily feels it's only right to light one herself, the small light flickering amongst the other candles when she's done. proper ritual, proper sacrament, with holy water and all the rest - isn't it strange, in a place where they were living in fear of world destroyers, that this should still exist?
before the altar, she finds herself standing, head bowed and hands clasped, offering prayer, enjoying the empty space. for a passing few moments, Emily feels safe in a sense she hasn't in some time.]
instead, wandering about Gloucester, what catches her eye is a church - how long has it been, since she set foot in a proper one, not one rotted and left as a playground for monsters? quite a while, even with time blurring together like it did. trying the door out of curiosity, Emily's surprised to find it unlocked, and quietly tiptoes in after propping the door open a crack - for safety's sake. once that's settled, she can explore.
airy, silent, with the afternoon sun tilting through stained glass. serene, and her heart feels a little lighter for it. a few votives burn in their setting, and Emily feels it's only right to light one herself, the small light flickering amongst the other candles when she's done. proper ritual, proper sacrament, with holy water and all the rest - isn't it strange, in a place where they were living in fear of world destroyers, that this should still exist?
before the altar, she finds herself standing, head bowed and hands clasped, offering prayer, enjoying the empty space. for a passing few moments, Emily feels safe in a sense she hasn't in some time.]
Edited 2021-10-16 22:29 (UTC)
[ the church surely seems the inevitable destination of a man of the cloth. even so, it had taken Abel an embarrassing amount of time to locate it despite this; Gloucester was home to quite a few distractions, and large in size to cover on foot to boot-- or are these simply excuses the priest has used to rationalize his time away from the house of God...? (surely getting distracted by the café and eclairs within would not be considered a valid justification in the eyes of many.) well, suppose none of that is of any particular matter, now.
because the double doors are opening to give way for the tall, lanky shape of a silver-haired man donned in cassock and bearing time-worn rosary that marks him as a priest -- though, perhaps not the normal sort that walks these hallowed halls. but here more than any other place, surely outsiders are welcome all the same... right?
there is a sort of hushed, quiet reverence in places of worship that even Abel would not consider disrespecting, and to see the altar already possessed of a woman currently engaged in prayer-- he doesn't think to disturb her with his usual antics. instead... there is a soft creak somewhere from the rear pews as the interloper takes a seat to wait, gently nudging at old-fashioned lenses as he takes in his surroundings. no church is exactly like another... each has its own sort of feeling, he thinks. and there is no need to rush things, so! she is more than welcome to take her time... Abel is content to give Emily her due peace while he lets the church tell him what its all about. ]
because the double doors are opening to give way for the tall, lanky shape of a silver-haired man donned in cassock and bearing time-worn rosary that marks him as a priest -- though, perhaps not the normal sort that walks these hallowed halls. but here more than any other place, surely outsiders are welcome all the same... right?
there is a sort of hushed, quiet reverence in places of worship that even Abel would not consider disrespecting, and to see the altar already possessed of a woman currently engaged in prayer-- he doesn't think to disturb her with his usual antics. instead... there is a soft creak somewhere from the rear pews as the interloper takes a seat to wait, gently nudging at old-fashioned lenses as he takes in his surroundings. no church is exactly like another... each has its own sort of feeling, he thinks. and there is no need to rush things, so! she is more than welcome to take her time... Abel is content to give Emily her due peace while he lets the church tell him what its all about. ]
[when she finishes, she raises her head, and turns, feeling a sense of deeper ease that means she might come back here-
but then there's someone there sitting in the back row, and she starts, hand flying to her heart and the other almost to her pocket before she realizes that it's a man in a priest's garb, who's sitting there as calm as anything.]
...Forgive me, Father, I didn't hear you come in.
[Emily looks as caught as she feels, a rising sort of disquiet in her. it's not against the rules to pray, of course not, but when one has a private moment and then feels it was on display, it feels awkward, odd. maybe she shouldn't have come in at all. maybe the door should have been locked in the first place, and he was just being kind to let her finish before shooing her out.]
but then there's someone there sitting in the back row, and she starts, hand flying to her heart and the other almost to her pocket before she realizes that it's a man in a priest's garb, who's sitting there as calm as anything.]
...Forgive me, Father, I didn't hear you come in.
[Emily looks as caught as she feels, a rising sort of disquiet in her. it's not against the rules to pray, of course not, but when one has a private moment and then feels it was on display, it feels awkward, odd. maybe she shouldn't have come in at all. maybe the door should have been locked in the first place, and he was just being kind to let her finish before shooing her out.]
[ --oh--
she gives a start, and Abel gives a start in reaction to Emily's start-- goodness, this is just a chain reaction if there ever was one, isn't it? he has enough self-awareness to look sheepish as he rises apologetically from the pew in a hurried fluster, holding his hands up in a placating gesture of apology. ]
N-no, no, please-- the fault is all mine! I really should've announced myself, but you looked like you were... um-- that is to say, I...
[ ..........ah. fumbling for the right words to explain away his lapse in judgment and coming up empty, the priest merely gives up entirely and settles for gently approaching the aisle, ]
Miss, I don't suppose you'd be kind enough to go along with a do-over? --A re-do~! Let's just try that whole thing again and pretend I've just walked in the door and not scared you half to death, would that be alright...?
she gives a start, and Abel gives a start in reaction to Emily's start-- goodness, this is just a chain reaction if there ever was one, isn't it? he has enough self-awareness to look sheepish as he rises apologetically from the pew in a hurried fluster, holding his hands up in a placating gesture of apology. ]
N-no, no, please-- the fault is all mine! I really should've announced myself, but you looked like you were... um-- that is to say, I...
[ ..........ah. fumbling for the right words to explain away his lapse in judgment and coming up empty, the priest merely gives up entirely and settles for gently approaching the aisle, ]
Miss, I don't suppose you'd be kind enough to go along with a do-over? --A re-do~! Let's just try that whole thing again and pretend I've just walked in the door and not scared you half to death, would that be alright...?
[they really are in a confused tangle, aren't they. for a second, she looks at him, and then her face and posture eases, and she offers something of a sheepish smile. goodness knows she's put her foot in her mouth often enough to be right where he is, it can hardly be something she holds against him. so, she nods and takes a breath.]
Yes, let's. Forgive me if you were looking to use the space - my curiosity got the better of me today, in the end.
Yes, let's. Forgive me if you were looking to use the space - my curiosity got the better of me today, in the end.
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