[she can. she doesn't need more words than that to draw conclusions, to weave lines of meaning out. if Yuya hadn't seen it - if this world hadn't dragged it out of him, he would have kept it silent. Emily knows all too well how that feels, in some respect. the knife in her back that had sunk in like cold fire, even though that never really happened. Emma's green eyes, so full of trust and hatred at the same time.
why he's handing this to her, she doesn't know, but she folds it up neatly and tucks it under her own secrets to remain something only he knows of. what does she say? if this was in person, she'd say nothing, hand him a cup of tea or simply look at him so he knows she's listening.]
I see.
[that's not enough. too impassive. but she knows from the little she's met him that to be pitied for it would be the last thing he would ever want.]
This city has a funny way of tearing out the worst of your life to make you relive it anew. The spectators are an unlucky bonus.
[what does one even do, with that knowledge on another? at least with hers, there was a point of plausible deniability, doubt and lies she could take to make it easier to swallow. his...someone simply saw it.]
[ His typing gets worse, he's doing his best to just put down the words and send it before he can agonize himself to death. If they were face to face it would be impossible. ]
It's eve y night. all the time. Ebefore I got here and beforethe damn rain
Ya told me we might go back. That's where I'm goinn back the end of a leash
[ It's been there since he arrived, it'll be there when he goes. The city only amplifies it a little louder but it's always. All the time. Every day. ]
[she looks at this for longer than she should, before she types out her own reply. feels the ice cold edge of a pickaxe in her back like a ghost, hands that grip her limbs, places where scars should be and yet never are. it's enough to drive someone insane.]
You're not the only one who doesn't want to go back. It would be returning to a cage in an endless maze.
[if her hand shakes a little to press the button to send, so it does.]
[ And Hakagemachi is its own cage. One where he can drift around with no direction, but also nowhere to run to except directly into the slow corruption of the youkai curled around his spirit. ]
We could trust each other. I know, it sounds terribly cliche, but if there's nothing else but those in the same predicament as you, then it's one idea you haven't exhausted.
[silently, she apologizes to Hibiki as she goes on.]
If you can't trust going back, and can't trust staying with who's in your head, there's still the rest of us with masks.
[and, she thinks to herself, at least one person who won't ask what his particular cage is like. he won't ask about hers, and she'll extend the same courtesy.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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why he's handing this to her, she doesn't know, but she folds it up neatly and tucks it under her own secrets to remain something only he knows of. what does she say? if this was in person, she'd say nothing, hand him a cup of tea or simply look at him so he knows she's listening.]
I see.
[that's not enough. too impassive. but she knows from the little she's met him that to be pitied for it would be the last thing he would ever want.]
This city has a funny way of tearing out the worst of your life to make you relive it anew. The spectators are an unlucky bonus.
[what does one even do, with that knowledge on another? at least with hers, there was a point of plausible deniability, doubt and lies she could take to make it easier to swallow. his...someone simply saw it.]
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It's eve y night. all the time. Ebefore I got here and beforethe damn rain
Ya told me we might go back. That's where I'm goinn
back the end of a leash
[ It's been there since he arrived, it'll be there when he goes. The city only amplifies it a little louder but it's always. All the time. Every day. ]
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You're not the only one who doesn't want to go back. It would be returning to a cage in an endless maze.
[if her hand shakes a little to press the button to send, so it does.]
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Don't want that for nobody
[ And Hakagemachi is its own cage. One where he can drift around with no direction, but also nowhere to run to except directly into the slow corruption of the youkai curled around his spirit. ]
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[she'd sound crazy if she said more than that, so she stops herself from saying more, backspaces a sentence that rang with bitterness.]
"Might go back" isn't the same as "will go back." There's still hope that we won't have to return.
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Maybe hoping I'll be stronger.
Or is th'snake just gonna swallow me. Bad news heere too.
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[silently, she apologizes to Hibiki as she goes on.]
If you can't trust going back, and can't trust staying with who's in your head, there's still the rest of us with masks.
[and, she thinks to herself, at least one person who won't ask what his particular cage is like. he won't ask about hers, and she'll extend the same courtesy.]
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I'm jsut dead weight on the rest of ya
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[the message comes back quick, typed out without a single doubt behind it.]
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